I don't know how to let myself feel.
I'm sad and I'm hurt. I'm really hurting and I don't know how to express it or let it go
I'm trying to sit with this feeling and just let it rain.
It's not a second nature to me. I'm uncomfortable and impatient.
I'm irritable, I'm lost in thousands "why me" and "girl, you've felt it since day one"
going in circles in my mind and no one knows the depth of my despair.
This is not the end. This is me being saved from people who are unpredictable and liars.
Fake people, Fake friends, Fake promises, Fake representations, Fake Fake Fake Fake
I put my best in this job. Sweat and tears, I melted the very core of me
The best of me and poured it all over my work. and bit more
I was exhausted
I was tired
I was promised things that never happened
I was ignored
I was used
I was mistreated
I was undermined
I was sabotaged
but I still continued on
Put my best suit on, a smile on my face, I ignited my dying sabotaged passion till it broke my bones.
I woke up everyday and bandaged myself up. covered my wounds, put makeup on and finished it with a smile.
I knew my hard work will pay off.
but all I got in the end was me put off the curb
in a midst of a pandemic
in a midst of
She betrayed me
Julie betrayed me,
hurt my feelings
fooled me into believing
that everything is a ok
from day one
since day one
I should have listened to my instincts
than believing that she might be a decent person
she must have been right
when she said to me
that I'm the most trusting person.
should have known then
that's it only means that she's the most untrustworthy person
Even Yesenia
crying to me about how everyone treated her
coming scared to me that they're recording her and using it against her
telling me all the secrets that I shouldn't know
that Julie never paid her taxes since 2008
and never closed her books
and that she cools her books
and how Sasha talks shit about me behind my back.
and how Julie knows all the toxicity of work and how she's the one orchestrating the drama
by pretending to be the good cop.
I'm sick of them
I'm sick of gossip
I only wanted to do my work
I'm sick and tired
I'm deeply and emotionally hurt.
I have done nothing wrong
God, I have exhausted my health to do everything right
to excel at my job.
I was sabotaged
I was fired.
and now they tease me
sending me fire
telling me I'm missing out
God, I don't deserve this
I'm in so much pain that i can not contain
I'm hurting
I'm deeply sad.
God help me through this.
You know I've done my best
Please don't let it go to waste
